Lazy Beauty: Coffee Scrub

We’ve all seen the “tips and tricks” for natural beauty, right? Just put an egg yolk in your hair, some sand on your behind, and a honey-avocado infusion on your face and you’re on the road to foolproof beauty.

The good news is,  none of this stuff will hurt you, unlike some chemical-laden fads. But how many actually work?

Gotta try ’em all! And then post about them. Like ya do.

I like the idea of a coffee scrub; I’ve made sugar/oil concoctions in the past, but I never use them fast enough and I forget about them a lot. Plus, I love coffee, and it seems like a more aggressive scrub than sugar.

But I’m also incredibly lazy when it comes to beauty. Like, I didn’t wash or cut my hair for two years, and only started shampooing again because my hair gets icky when it’s both long and no-poo. That lazy. I like being pretty, but I dislike devoting energy to that pursuit.

Also, it seems wasteful. Coffee’s expensive! I want that tablespoon to go into my coffee maker. And I just can’t bring myself to buy cheap coffee because of the huge ethical concerns. It just seems the height of tyrannical behavior to take unsustainable, exploitative practices from around the globe and rub the fruits of their labor on my butt. Like something an evil king in a bad fantasy novel would do.

See where this is going? Lazy + frugal + first world guilt = Used coffee grounds.

Seriously. I was going to empty out my reusable filter and decided to just put the grounds in a cup instead of the trash. (I rent a place that has no garden, so I can’t compost anything. Sigh.) Then I took a shower and went to town.

Turns out used coffee works pretty well. Some of the caffeine has been washed away by the brewing process, but the exfoliating process is still there. And if you’ve ever had “Greek coffee” (Turkish coffee, cowboy coffee, etc) then you know there’s plenty of kick left in those grounds. It left my skin silky smooth and with no smell that lasted through a Dr. Bronners rinse. Plus, it felt like playing in the mud, and that’s always a plus. Just remember to rinse out the shower when you’re done.

The big claim with coffee is that it helps with cellulite, due to some  magic caffeine voodoo. I am not 100%  sure that it does. My skin feels firmer, but I can only get confirmation from Male Compatriot as to the softness. I suspect “Honey, does my behind look smoother to you?” is one of those questions that strikes terror into the male brain.

I personally like scrubbing coffee all over. Even on my face, although it’s easy to scrub too hard. If you do use it on your face, be gentle! It does help with undereye puffiness a little bit (that caffeine voodoo again), but don’t scrub under your eyes. Just gently pat. I think it even helps with the micro-wrinkles that women start noticing before anyone else can possibly see them, but again, I can’t get any external confirmation on that point.

But my skin is softer, smoother and (possibly) firmer. Not bad for getting a second use from a waste product!

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